Wow! Take a breath and share with us in the cool blessings that the last 6 – 8 weeks have held. We are so grateful to so many of you that have been, first of all praying for the different things we’re all involved in. And secondly, participating, giving a hand here and there. We feel so blessed in the work God is doing through us all. It’s fun to be growing into a team that works together as a body.
















♥We received the funds for 27 more Bibles!

♥We finished the final cover-to-cover edit of our discipleship manual; the first 150 copies are going to print!

♥The Marriage and Family Growth and Mentoring Retreat #3 was another great success!! Enjoyed again the time with families becoming families. It’s a great experience to just get away and focus on each other.

♥Congratulations to Amber and Craig for the comeback from the loser’s bracket to win the championship of the FGR Cribbage Tourney!!!

♥It was so good to have time to upgrade the retreat folder to more of a manual in the days leading up to the retreat.

♥Blessings to Paige and Riley for leading their little cousin to the Lord a couple weeks ago.

♥Family Growth Fellowship at our house was awesome! Here’s the list of words that you all gave us in defining Family Growth Fellowship purpose (our church): Mentoring, lifestyle, discipleship, desegregational, cross-generational, harmony – relationships (Ephesians 3:20, Colossians 3:8), leadership development, loving, God’s design, Hero-in-the-home, Biblical perspective – sola scriptura….. It’s good that as a body we’re understanding what FGF is about.

♥Thanks Sally, Kirk, and Dave for hosting the Valentines Day FGF fellowship at your house. Enjoyed hearing the courtship testimonials from each couple. It was interesting how so many of you prayed for your spouses. Great testimony to the kids and great reinforcement to what they are practicing in their youth.

♥Congrats to Adam, by the way, on the purity ring. We all think that’s a great decision.

♥Not to forget, of course, the wonderful time at Russ and Carlene’s where we talked about the blessings and miracles of the last year and spent a little time just complimenting each other in the body. It’s amazing the impact that attitude has on our lives. Life truly is “10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it”. “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice!” A little thankfulness definitely produces a lot of cheerfulnessJ.

♥I know we already mentioned this but we’re appreciating those of you who are stepping forward and helping us in the various different avenues of FDC Ministries.

♥Thank God, Grace is now 3^rd degree black belt, and the rest of us are 4^th!!!

♥The school is growing… praise God!!!

♥We realize we have not been on the internet at all, Facebook or emails. Mainly because all of our writing/editing skills have been focused on the marriage and family manual and the discipleship manual. Thanks for your patience, those of you who have been put on hold here and there. There have been weeks where I literally didn’t look at any internet stuff. It’s amazing how fast your inbox can fill up.

♥Our vehicles are little by little getting repaired. Thank God. Some of you are helping us with that, thank you!

♥As always, it’s amazing, we were able to upgrade our phones and other things because of the miracles that some of you have been a part of.

♥Six weeks ago our board began to focus prayer on our finances. It’s awesome to see God take charge of that and really show Himself in provision. Thanks to those of you who have been praying about that specifically. It has been a great encouragement to watch His handiwork from the provision of Bibles to the personal provision of food on our doorstep. One night we literally had somebody knock on the front door, and by the time I got to the door, there was no car, no person, but at my feet were 2 steaming hot chickens from Albertsons!!!!! Brings tears to your eyes! All of you know who you are… we know you want to be anonymous, but our hugs to you are more than just a physical touch they are a spiritual embrace of appreciation.

As we move forward we ask that you continue to pray in the ways that you have and participate as God leads you in the work that we’re all involved in. So that, His mighty effect on ‘marriage and family growth and mentoring’ discipleship will become firmly planted and rooted for generations to come.  The goal is to see society change as a result of the growth in each one of us. And someday, we’ll be casting crowns at His feet, side by side, when we finally reach the proverbial promised land in Heaven.

We love you! We’re trying to keep track of emails now. If you have any questions, etc., give us a call or send us a note. We’re going to try to get back to weekly updates now that the books are done.

So again, appreciate those of you around us who have just been in our lives encouraging, working, praying, email or not… you’re just there a part of whatever we’re doing.

Today’s Prayer Needs Are: 

FGF (church)
Family Growth and Mentoring Retreat follow-up and planning for next retreat in 6 months.
Discipleship with the books and networking happening.
Bergerson Rec Area
Music we’re doing in the studio, Jamontrak Records
Frazier Family concert prep
Frazier music CD duplication (possibly a duplicating machine). Many requests have been made lately.
Continued growth of the martial arts school and ministry (upgrades to school, repairs happening over spring break)
Weekly time and provision allotted for head office maintenance items.
Board related activities and growth

Task-driven –vs- Relationship-oriented personalities, the “ME” –vs- “WE” Principal, God’s Design for Marriage and what happens when men flake out on their spiritual responsibilities (Isaiah 3:12, Women Rule because they’re survivors, and Children Oppress - Dysfunction), Intimacy, and as well, we touched on Obedience from Children whether parents are perfect or not.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY GROWTH AND MENTORING RETREAT #2!!!!!!! YAHOOOOO!!!!!!!

God has given us the template for something that is working and we love it! The hottest topic for the weekend was Task-driven -vs- Relationship-oriented personalities. So I thought I’d follow-up the retreat with this essay I wrote a few months ago about that. As you read this I want to state a couple of things:

1.                  God’s view is that relationship is more important in some settings, as in the case with sisters Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42.

2.                  On the other hand, it doesn’t mean relationship is more important ALWAYS. As in the case with the moneychangers in the temple (John 2:12-17). One example of task over relationship from the retreat was: Did you clean the whole kitchen and then leave a cup on the counter when you were finished? J Ed’s question was, “How important is that cup?”

Just some food for thought. Hope you enjoy a re-visit to this essay. I think this is an important issue and we need to spend time deciphering, is it a task-driven time or a relationship-oriented time? The problem comes when you’re extremely one or the other with your children and/or spouse. The reality is that we need to teach a balance of both in the lives of our children and spouses. If all we do is work every day with our family we’re going to wear them out. We’ve got to find out what their interests are and maybe we need to grab an ax and go throw it at a log with our son at the camp.

 A TIME TO EMBRACE AND A TIME TO SHUN EMBRACING:

  Is your task more important than relationships or vice versa? Ok, yah, at work, relationships are performance-driven, but what about at home? Hunting? Is the task of getting that elk more important than stopping to discuss a point of interest with your son or daughter... or wife… or as my son loved to do when he was five...look at the salamanders in the pond at the three-mile marker?

   Killed 9 elk with Zach. J

   The point is: Do we put the ‘b’ on itchy most days because we forget to distinguish between what should be a relationship-oriented task and performance-driven task? As I think back on all the elk we killed together (including my biggest one, a 5-point) I have to acknowledge the coincidence, or divine touch, on those days in which I actually set it in my head that I was going to focus on my son, every little question and thought and conversation that was interesting to him, first. Getting the elk was a secondary notion on those trips in which we actually got our elk, because I made it a point to purposefully acknowledge that this is a relationship-oriented task, with little focus on the performance or success of the hunt.

   Sometimes it’s necessary to strike a balance between the two. Sometimes we have to be the drill-sergeant. Sometimes however, it’s necessary to focus completely on the relationship. This is something I still work on today, because I tend to be a drill-sergeant by nature and performance-driven. It’s good to understand what type of personality and expectation you have. Then try to understand in each setting what compromises you need to make in regards to the procedures you will implement for that particular task or event. Jobs definitely need to get done, but relationships are important as well. With time hanging in the balance, how we use it has a great effect on everybody involved no matter what it is we have to do.

   One thing I know at 47-years-old is that the attention I give to deciding what’s performance-driven vs. relationship-oriented saves me a lot of headache and confusion for all parties involved. Oftentimes, I will even define for those involved that this is a relationship-oriented time so let’s have fun together! Sometimes I have to be a mean ogre because I am responsible to get the job done.

   Just a thought inspired by the recent observations that Molly and I have made in counseling couples lately. Typically one is performance-driven in everything and the other is more relational. The two extremes collide and it becomes a major point of contention in the marriage relationship and others. The reality is that neither extreme is appropriate, so guess what, both parties need to grow to understand that there is a time for Everything. Molly and I have discovered that it helps to define and pray about each situation and what is the priority. It’s a worthwhile venture, believe me! A lot of this bleeds over into the ‘Leave and Cleave Principal’ (check out the Rules of Engagement at www.fdcministries.com) because a lot of what we are is what our parents made us. We have to stop comparing our spouse to our mother or father and what they were, working towards a balance together.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8 – a great chapter about time-management J :

1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

   We need to spend more time deciding what is appropriate for the time, less time winging-it with what’s simple for our background and personality. Do we care enough to change a little???

P. Ron

Next retreat is about 6 months out. If you’re interested in becoming an expert in Marriage and Family, let us know. The list for the next one has already begun. We’ll follow this email up with a few comments from couples that were at this last retreat.

For the sake and success of Marriage and Family Growth and Mentoring,

Pastor Ron for the Fraziers